


Mourning Dove

by TrufaxRex



Series: To the Sky [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Wingfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-26
Updated: 2013-08-26
Packaged: 2017-12-24 17:18:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/942522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrufaxRex/pseuds/TrufaxRex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Castiel receives a letter (a mourning dove).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mourning Dove

For two weeks, Dean thought Sam was dead.

Castiel learns much about his mate during those long two weeks. For all he knows how Dean celebrates a good a sale at the market, expresses distaste when Castiel brings home fish for dinner or anger whenever he perceives a threat to the Nest. Castiel has never seen Dean in mourning, not until now. 

He is ashamed to say that he did not notice at first. It was Gabriel who alerted him to the fact that something was truly wrong with his younger mate. While Castiel had been aware that Dean was sad that Sam was gone, he would never have fathomed that Dean thought he was _Dead._ He himself was rather certain that Sam was okay, and he holds to the idea that Sam will be back sooner rather than later. He assumed that Dean would share this idea – and thus ignored the signs that his mate was actually so distressed and resigned to his brother’s fate.

It was around the fifth day that Gabriel pulled him aside to admonish him about how he was treating Dean. Telling him that he needed to set his mate right, or at least comfort him until they got word from Sam that he was safe. Castiel was sure that he was already being as comforting as he needed to be, and Dean _seemed_ fine.

“Oh yes, hes a perfect ball of sunshine, Cas.” Gabriel bit out unkindly. He had started to spend more time with Dean lately, which Castiel considered a good thing. Though a tad surprising. “Not a bit upset.” 

“He is bound to be upset. His brother is gone.” Castiel answers, frowning and trying to get what Gabriel is trying to say. “he has lived most of his life to protect his brother, I’m sure he is very confused.” 

“I don’t really have to explain this to you, do I?” Gabriel sounded impatient. At Castiel’s blank stare, he grabbed his brother’s shoulder and shook him. “He thinks his brother is dead, you idiot.”

Castiel couldn’t believe it; he still can’t in a way. He knew Dean thought Sam’s skills for dealing with the outside world would be very limited – but for him to have such little faith in his brother almost made Castiel angry. But it certainly seemed to be true. Once Gabriel pointed it out, Castiel realized that Dean had not once said anything about Sam. He was often late to bed and early rise, mostly under the guise of working in his shop. But after observing him, Castiel concludes that most of his time is spent leaning against the outside of his shop, staring into the distance.

 

_It was the first Sunday after Sam had left that Castiel witnessed Dean gathering the books that Sam had left behind and wrapping them up to take away. It was at this that Castiel finally had to say something._

_“Deam? Where are you taking those?” Castiel was staking some of the bowls that he had just washed, and had been watching his mate out of the corner of his eye._

_“Back to Cassie’s.” Dean won’t look him in the eye, and doesn’t stop wrapping the books in linen. “Neither of us will read them. And they should be out there being used, instead of gathering dust in here.”_

_Castiel pauses and considers. Gabriel’s words float around the edges of his mind and he swallows the lump that forming in his throat. “I don’t think Sam will appreciate coming back to find his things missing.”_

_Dean stills instantly, his hands in the middle of a knot. Castiel can see the tension his shoulders, and he looks so tight that he could snap._

_“Do what you want.” Dean suddenly rises from the pile and flashes a look over his shoulder of such fury and pain that Castiel nearly forgets to breathe. It’s at that point that he truly believes Gabriel. That this isn’t something that will go away with time._

_The problem is that Castiel has no idea how to fix it._

Castiel is grateful that Sam is very smart though. Another week passed, and Castiel still had not found a way to talk to Dean about Sam. If anything his mate seemed to be avoiding him – and the time they spent in each other’s presence felt strained and uncomfortable. Gabriel was constantly nagging him to say something, do something to help his mate. Often glaring just as much as Dean did. It was very lonely for Castiel during that week. 

But when morning dawned on the fourteenth day, Castiel had awoken to a light tapping on the side of the nest. Dean had since gone and Gabriel was nowhere to be seen. Padding out, he found a small hawk waiting for him on a branch, a little pouch strapped around it. Castiel just stared for a long time, the animal seeming just as curious as he was. They _never_ got mail, not really anyhow. Unless Dean got a special order – other than that, anything for Sam had always come through Cassie.

After a few awkward moments, Castiel finally relieved the Hawk of its delivery, however the bird stayed – which meant it must be waiting for a reply. Walking away, Castiel sat at the dining table and carefully unfolded the letter – dread suddenly setting in at the thought of what it could be.

What if this was just a confirmation of Sam’s death? Someone had found his body somewhere starved and picked apart by wild animals and only recognized him by the documents that he carried? Castiel felt his stomach churn, and he wondered if this was what Dean had been secretly feeling for these last two weeks. He could not stop himself though, and opened the letter to begin reading.

 

_“Dear Castiel,_

_I have no words to express how truly sorry I am that I left like I did. I feel I have to apologize to you the most, because you have no experience in seeing my brother like this. I’m sure he thinks I am dead or enslaved or worse, and so I tried to send this letter as soon as possible. Thank you so much for putting up with him, as well as me – and I hope that this will ease some of the pain that I’ve caused you both._

_And please don’t be angry with Gabriel, its not his fault that I left. I have wanted his chance for so long, and he did not coerce me into running away. He just gave me the confidence to do something for myself. I appreciate you and Dean for taking good care of me for so many years. But now I believe it is time for the two of you take care of yourselves. You have given up so much in your relationship to keep me safe and I hope that you will take this as an opportunity to know each other better._

_As of writing this letter, I have just arrived in Ralleigh City. It’s a truly magnificent place, though I’ve yet to see most of it. Cassie was the one who directed me here. One of the Scholars who buys my translations teaches at the University here. A University, Castiel! I’ve seen it from afar, and tomorrow I plan on going to explore. But just the thought of being in a University, surrounded by such knowledgeable people fills me with such excitement I can hardly contain myself. I have dreamed of something like this for years, and I am so nervous I can hardly sit still – but far too excited to let the nerves hinder me._

_Talking to people on this journey has been so difficult. I had not realized just how used to you and Dean I had become. And being surrounded by so many humans was extremely intimidating, but no one asked questions and many people were very nice to me. And don’t worry, Castiel, I am being safe. I know I’m not very clever when it comes to strangers – but I’ve read enough in my books not to fall for their tricks.  I made it all the way to the big city without any problems after all._

_I will write again once I see that this letter has gotten to you safely. Please let Dean and Gabriel know I am okay. That I am happy. And yes, I do miss all of you very much and I will be very happy when we are united again. But I must ask you a favor. Please do not come for me, not yet. I need time to work things out for myself. I would love to keep up a correspondence by letters, but I beg you not to come find me. Not yet._

_I hope to hear from you soon._

_I love you all,_

_Samuel”_

 

As he stared at the letter, several emotions overtook Castiel. But the most prevalent was relief. Sam was _safe_ and apparently happy, and that meant that Dean would no longer be heartbroken. Castiel had no doubt that if they had confirmation of Sam’s death, it would have broken everything in his mate – but with this letter, hopefully Dean would be able to himself once more. 

Going to the hawk who had begun preening, Castiel stroked its head gently. “I hope you don’t mind waiting, girl.” 


End file.
